Wednesday, September 28, 2011

A new experience

Hormones are a mighty thing! I have noticed that they are affecting my appetite; I don't always feel hungry when I should and sometimes I'm ravenous not long after I have eaten. My dreams seem to be much more vivid too. Everyone knows that hormones can make a person really emotional, weepy or angry, but lately I have noticed that several situations that normally would have stressed me out have actually not bothered me at all; I feel unusually calm.
Morning sickness is a well known symptom of pregnancy that is related to hormone changes. With my other pregnancies, I often experienced morning sickness strictly as nausea, but never actually threw up. There was one time while I was pregnant with Eden that I kinda forced a puke, but it didn't help so I always avoided it after that.
This morning I was driving to Prince George for an appointment with the kids. As soon as I got into the vehicle, I became nauseated. It soon was obvious that I was going to be sick! I pulled over beside the road and chucked my breakfast into the ditch! It was rather embarrassing that cars slowed down as they drove by!
Hopefully this is an isolated experience that doesn't become a fad in the upcoming months as I find vomiting to be repulsive and actually think it quite sinful! Just kidding about the sinful part, but I do not appreciate surrendering my food to the ditch!

Big needles!

Did I mention that I have to take needles?! When I successfully retrieved my parcel from DHL, I opened the box to see the expensive medication that I had nearly lost in customs. I was a little chagrined to find 60x1.5" needles!
My first round of hormones is Delestrogen, administered as an intramuscular shot twice a week. In a week I add progesterone, also an intramuscular shot, daily for 10 weeks.
I can't say that I am entirely brave about the situation. I was feeling very nervous about the shots. I can't really give them to myself, as they need to go into my largest muscle, which you may know is my backside! Steve is very courageous and has agreed to give me the shots. My mommy was here on Monday, so she gave me the first one. Trained as a psychiatric nurse, it has been many years since she has given anyone a needle. She definitely has a soft touch and I didn't feel it much. Thursday I will find out if Steve is as talented!
My next two Ultrasounds are in Kelowna on the 3rd and 10th of October, so I have a bit more travelling to do. Thanking God for working everything out so far. Praying for more safe travels!

The many Adventures of Whinnie the Pooh

Hormone treatment is part of the preparations for an Embryo transfer. This treatment needs to be monitored by ultrasound and blood tests. When I saw my family Dr. several weeks ago, he said that this wouldn't be a problem  and to let him know when the time came so he could make the arrangements. I tried to rebook with him right away, but he was booked until way past my cycle dates at the end of the month. I had to see another Dr. to book an ultrasound to get my baseline measurements of my endometrium. Unfortunately, the only Dr. I could get in to see was Dr. No; and there was no way he was going to even try to get me that ultrasound. His nurse of impossible solutions explained that protocol and wait lists wouldn't permit me to have an ultrasound for 3 weeks! Since in her narrow opinion, this was not an emergency, I would have to change my plans; as if in the future things would be any different!
I was not the least bit deterred! I told the nurse to stop telling me that I would have to change my plans because I would be having an ultrasound the next day regardless of her inability to help me! I made plans to leave right away and called the closest fertility clinic in Kelowna and booked a scan for 9 a.m. the next day! The kids and I travelled to Kamloops where they spent time with family while I went to Kelowna for a rather expensive appointment that took about 15 minutes!
Meanwhile, I had received a notice from DHL that my package containing my hormone medication was detained at customs in Richmond. I had filled out paperwork to have a Broker clear it for me and after several hours on the phone, i received an email from the Broker saying that the only way to clear my parcel was to come to Richmond and go through customs my self. They advised me that they were open till 6pm, so I left Kamloops right away. Upon my arrival, I was informed that the DHL customs staff had gone home and the Canadian customs office was also closed for the day. Not only that, but medication had not been allowed into Canada for 6 weeks due to stricter policies. I was told that I could stay if I wanted and try in the morning, but customs would most certainly deny my parcel and destroy the package. It was raining outside and I cried.
I didn't have enough time to get a Canadian prescription in time to start the medication on Monday. I had already paid for the medication, for shipping and to drive there to get it; re-purchasing the medication would have been a financial strain. This whole ordeal could set us back a month!
Steve was so supportive on the phone. He reassured me that staying the night and taking my chances with customs was what I really wanted to do. I phoned Rebekah Fulson and stayed the night at their place. I was so blessed to have a welcoming home with good friends, good food, a shower and she even gave me clean clothes to wear! I felt like the man on the road to Jericho. What a blessing!
All night I prayed for my medication to be released by customs in the morning. Many of my good friends also prayed for a miracle! By morning I had thought of every possible thing I could say; I knew that it wasn't something I could talk my way through. I prayed that God would speak on my behalf and that I wouldn't even have to convince anyone. I picked up my paperwork from DHL and headed over to customs. There was a lady at the counter who asked me a few questions. I hardly said anything at all. She told me that technically she is supposed to deny me access to my package, but under the circumstances, she was going to give me my medication! Yay! Thank you God! The DHL staff were quite shocked that I returned with a customs stamp to pick up my package!
New prayer requests are: mail doesn't seem to be working for me very well because the leagal paperwork that I sent to the clinic hasn't arrived yet. It is important that it gets there! Also, still waiting on Steve's last big Landscaping job to pay so I can book airplane tickets and pay the balance to the clinic for the procedure! After the miracles I've just shared, I shouldn't be worried at all! God can be trusted and I know that He will see this through!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Graduation!

I did it! I have completed all the many phases of Adoption paperwork!
When my sister was in the long phase of paperwork for their adoption, I observed that it was such a daunting task that I never thought I could take on. When the time came that we knew that God was calling us to adopt Embryos the North American way, I felt that He would give me the strength I needed. Sure enough, the paperwork nearly killed me! Relentless stages of paperwork came in waves! As usual, God was right and I was able to handle it. Now we are finished the paperwork and on to pills, needles, ultrasounds and blood tests!
We sent off the final paperwork to the Adoption agency and to the fertility clinic this week. As for mentioned, all there is left is hormone treatment to prepare for the Embryo transfer and preparing for the trip! The big event will happen on or around the 17th of October! This week will determine the final date (whatever day I get my period)  and then I will book flights and book a rental car! We are staying with a good friend of a good friend; thank God for that! Not for sure yet, but it looks like Kevin will come stay with the kids while we are away. God works all things together for good for those that love Him! Hooray! All the pieces are fitting together!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Nesting

Nesting is the state of mind that a woman enters in the days or weeks before she gives birth to a new baby. It is our God given instinct to make a safe and happy environment in which we can nurture our growing baby. I don't know if it's instinct or just my awareness that I generally feel like a crippled old lady when I'm pregnant, due to sciatica, but I am experiencing pre-pregnancy nesting. I feel the urge to create a comfortable and relaxing environment in which I can nurture my children and my pregnant body while babies grow inside my belly. I have been engaging in deep cleansing exercises, reaching to the backs of closets and the depths of spare rooms! I have been regularly loading seldom used items into my vehicle to unload at the re-use shed and garbage dump! Ah, how satisfying to finally have organized space in my entrance and the blissful awareness of a dust-bunny-free bedroom.
In spite of all my efforts, I am very aware that it will be necessary for a renewed sense of nesting before I give birth. In the present, I will imagine that my hard work will last forever!

Friday, September 9, 2011

Date

I have a lovely little bruise on my arm from the blood tests today. A reminder of all the not so fun medical stuff that will come with pregnancy. So far it was just routine tests; once I start taking estrogen I will have weekly ultrasounds and blood tests to monitor my estrogen levels.
This afternoon I realized that it has been 2 weeks since our legal Adoption papers were mailed to us and they haven't arrived yet. I checked the tracking number and it showed that the package exists but there is no further record of it's whereabouts. I started to have a little panic, then decided that it would be a waste of a perfectly good afternoon. I sent a few emails and decided to trust that God has it under control. A second prayer request that I have is that my estrogen meds will make it through customs in time for me to start them on the 23rd of this month.
So tentatively, depending on the timely development of my endrometrium (the lining of my uterus) the FET (Fetal Embryo Transfer) will be on October 17th! Ahhhhh! Mark it on your calendar and pray for our little Embryos to thaw safely and to attach to their temporary home!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Sigh

My heart sunk to my toes as my beloved motorcycle drove away down the driveway today. A sacrifice for clinic fees, the money went into our baby fund. We sold my bike for our asking price; a small miracle to remind me that God will provide. The reality is, I won't be riding for at least another year, so I don't need it anyways. I'm sure I'd love to look at it, a symbol of my youth and freedom, as I pat my growing belly. Reason won out and I parted with my iron steed...for now anyways.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Hijacked Hormones

The countdown has begun! October is just around the corner and it is time to prepare my body to accept the two precious Embryos that we have waited so long for. My heart has been "pregnant" for two years already! Now, as my hormones have been hijacked, my body is beginning to feel pregnant too!
The idea is to copy my natural hormone cycle with prescribed hormones to make my body feel pregnant so it embraces the Embryos when they are transferred to my womb mid October. I have started taking birth control which is a low dose estrogen, simulating pregnancy. Because my uterus isn't actually on board with this plan, in a couple weeks I will start taking supplemental estrogen in increasing amounts to stimulate the lining of my uterus to increase. Closer to the day of transfer, we will add progesterone to the mix and decrease estrogen. It's all hormones from now until next July!
It is rather surreal to be actually taking physical steps towards the finality of this family adventure! The legal papers have been notarized and are coming our way. Once we have them, we will forward them to the clinic and start setting appointment dates and planning flights!
Symptoms: So far, I am feeling the typical birth control symptoms; water retention, mid afternoon nausea and breast tenderness.