Hope for adoption

Steve and I just spent 3 days in Abbotsford at Hope Adoption services completing the education requirement for our home study. We just attended the Parenting Plus seminar; talk about a deeply emotional and moving course! If I thought I knew a lot about adoption scenarios before last week, I learned SO much more! It was such a blessing to stretch my understanding of adoption and its effects on everyone involved; the adoptee, the birth family and the adoptive family. I can't wait to get my hands on some recommended books on adoption, there is so much more for me to learn!

I was humbled by the stories from birth mothers, as I have mostly overlooked their side of things. Their decision is often misunderstood, considered a weakness or lack of concern; that couldn't be further from the truth. At Hope Services, there is a tremendous amount of education and support invested in helping the birthmother make the best decision for her child. I was deeply moved by their commitment to supporting her through the process. From what I also learned about the perspective of an adoptee, understanding and supporting the birth mother is the first important step in ensuring that a child has the best start!

The bonding portion of the seminar was not new to me because it was taught so well when my sister and brother-in-law took the course over 5 years ago! I learned from their experiences that bonding and attachment are a huge part in the success of an adoption. I saw my sister affirming her love and showing herself trustworthy to their young, adopted daughter by constantly being present with her. They were the only ones to feed her, cuddle her and care for her for months on end until their daughter finally realized that they were true in their love. We take love for granted until we have experienced loss and then it is human nature to question everything.

It is tempting for me to assume that by adopting embryos, children at the earliest stage of life, that we won't ever have to consider bonding, birth parents, separation and loss or any of the other issues that surround adoption. That would be a mistake! Though we will have the honor of knowing this/these child(ren) from almost the beginning, their genetic make up will belong to someone else. They will have genetic parents and full siblings somewhere in the world and they will want to know where they came from. God give us grace to be the best adoptive parents that we can be and to be open and supportive, to give our children every chance to thrive!

I want to mention that God has been teaching me about identity, specifically my identity in Him. This is very relevant to adoption because if I don't understand my identity in Christ, I cannot be who He has called me to be. In the same way, any child who struggles with their identity, not knowing where they come from or how they came to be adopted, is at risk of having a serious identity crisis. Their life can be consumed by unanswered questions even if they are fully attached to their adoptive family. God created us with the need to know who we are and adoptees are no exception. I am so grateful to be learning about this now so that I can help all of my children become who God made them to be!

I still have so much to earn about the journey ahead! I am grateful that Hope includes this seminar in their home study program. It was such a valuable resource as adoptive parents and I fully recommend it to anyone considering adoption. It is so great to be a part of such a dynamic adoption community and have the mentorship from all of the staff at Hope.
Really, there is so much more to say; I haven't even scratched the surface of all the valuable things we just learned. However, I couldn't possibly include it all in a blog! If your interest has peaked, maybe you are considering adoption and should contact Hope Services for an adoption package! wink.