Since my last post, things haven't been exactly peachy. My blood test results continued to show my beta hCG levels dropping to zero. For our own need of certainty before pulling the plug by ceasing hormone treatment, I had an ultrasound on Monday to see if either embryo was still in my uterus. For a brief and scary moment, the ultrasound technician though that she saw an embryo growing on my ovary. After consulting the Radiologist, it was determined to be just a cyst. I stopped taking hormone injections and am still waiting for the inevitable flow to start.
As usual, I did some research on the internet about ectopic pregnancies and found that there is a higher occurrence following FET because the embryos are put into the uterus in an upward direction and can by their momentum move up the fallopian tube. 98% of ectopics are tubal pregnancies, attaching to the inside of the fallopian tube. 2% are ovarian or abdominal pregnancies, attaching to an ovary or somewhere inside the abdomen. These pregnancies are considered to be not viable because they often cause internal bleeding when the baby grows big enough to burst the fallopian tube causing internal bleeding which is often fatal to the mother. In rare cases, a mother has risked all odds and delivered a healthy baby by cesarean section; women like this will forever be my heroes! Medical science does not consider this to be heroic, but foolish. I am inspired women who are convicted that a baby is worth risking all for!
Time is slowly healing my heartache. We are praying for direction on what God has for us next. We still have hope. God has blessed us with the beautiful family that we already have and so far we all still have room in our hearts for more. We will see where that leads. Thank you for all your prayers, we have surely felt them!
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Pain Chronicles
For the record, I was blissfully pregnant for 2 weeks. We loved and talked to our babies every day. We prayed for them and blessed them, our kids frequently kissed and talked to my tummy.
Tomorrow morning I will call the clinic for my blood test results, maybe for the last time. Mondays blood test indicated that the embryos have stopped growing. Today's blood test is most likely going to confirm that outcome.
Half of me wants to believe that a radical miracle will take place in my body, the other half of me wants to assume the fetal position and try to recover from the crushing pain.
I know that the hardest part is ahead of me and I lack the strength to walk it out. I trust that God will not leave me; His grace is sufficient for even this.
Tomorrow morning I will call the clinic for my blood test results, maybe for the last time. Mondays blood test indicated that the embryos have stopped growing. Today's blood test is most likely going to confirm that outcome.
Half of me wants to believe that a radical miracle will take place in my body, the other half of me wants to assume the fetal position and try to recover from the crushing pain.
I know that the hardest part is ahead of me and I lack the strength to walk it out. I trust that God will not leave me; His grace is sufficient for even this.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Due Date
Now that I'm actually pregnant, I have a great responsibility to grow these babies well! I have been on prenatal Vitamins and Folic Acid for 6 months already to make sure my body has the nutrients it will need for the job. Steve and I enjoy an evening walk a couple times a week and I keep flexible with a yoga type stretching routine.
Lately I have found that I really enjoy porridge with dates and walnuts in it for breakfast. I have switched to herbal teas and an occasional decaf coffee. I can't get enough cranberry juice and occasionally drink it out of a wine glass!
My pre-pregnant weight was 137lbs. I won't post before and after pictures, that would just be embarrassing! I may post the odd belly picture when I actually have a cute baby bump!
I'll be 5 weeks pregnant tomorrow which gives me a due date of July 1st.
Lately I have found that I really enjoy porridge with dates and walnuts in it for breakfast. I have switched to herbal teas and an occasional decaf coffee. I can't get enough cranberry juice and occasionally drink it out of a wine glass!
My pre-pregnant weight was 137lbs. I won't post before and after pictures, that would just be embarrassing! I may post the odd belly picture when I actually have a cute baby bump!
I'll be 5 weeks pregnant tomorrow which gives me a due date of July 1st.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Breaking News
I know all you want to hear about is the results of the test, but first I'm going to tell you about my week! It was an emotional roller coaster as I assessed signs and symptoms wondering what they meant! I felt really tired all the time and my swollen and sore mammary glands were indicators that the tests would be positive. I was also experiencing frequent abdominal cramping which was making me fairly nervous, and several times I thought for sure I would start spotting at any minute. The emotional roller coaster was the hardest. I thought the situation out from every angle, trying to be positive, but not wanting to be too confident in case the letdown was severe.
As a non patient person, I couldn't wait for a blood test, I had to pee on a stick! Monday, single pink line: negative. Tuesday, faintest little barely there, hint of a second line: does it count? Wednesday, same phantom line.....
Wednesday I went to see my Doctor to get a requisition for the BhCG tests. He made it out for twice a week for as long as I want so I can observe the increase of the hCG hormones as the pregnancy progresses. The appointment wasn't over until noon so I missed the lab by 12 minutes. I went in first thing Thursday morning for the blood test; knowing I wouldn't get the result till later that day or the next. I don't like waiting! Another pee test, two pink lines! Yes, there were definitely two!
This morning I got the results of the blood test; beta hCG count 7.5; anything over 5 is positive!
So there you have it, whoohoo!!
As a non patient person, I couldn't wait for a blood test, I had to pee on a stick! Monday, single pink line: negative. Tuesday, faintest little barely there, hint of a second line: does it count? Wednesday, same phantom line.....
Wednesday I went to see my Doctor to get a requisition for the BhCG tests. He made it out for twice a week for as long as I want so I can observe the increase of the hCG hormones as the pregnancy progresses. The appointment wasn't over until noon so I missed the lab by 12 minutes. I went in first thing Thursday morning for the blood test; knowing I wouldn't get the result till later that day or the next. I don't like waiting! Another pee test, two pink lines! Yes, there were definitely two!
This morning I got the results of the blood test; beta hCG count 7.5; anything over 5 is positive!
So there you have it, whoohoo!!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
The Waiting Game
It is so nice to be home with our family! The kids are so excited; they talk to my belly all the time!
The 28th of October is the day I am supposed to have a blood pregnancy test to find out for sure if the babies are growing. It will be interesting because I can't get in with my Dr. to get a requisition for a beta hCG, so I will have to take whoever I can get; always a little unnerving. Not to mention the results of the test!
Just because I feel like I have to do something to improve my chances of pregnancy, I have been reading books and magazines on the subject, as if it will help. I have noticed that my bladder needs to be emptied regularly or risk embarrassment! My breasts are growing and tender again and I have had the painful stretching sensations in my abdomen that seems to indicate that my uterus is growing. We are hopeful and praying for the babies to grow healthy and strong. Nothing to do now except wait.....
The 28th of October is the day I am supposed to have a blood pregnancy test to find out for sure if the babies are growing. It will be interesting because I can't get in with my Dr. to get a requisition for a beta hCG, so I will have to take whoever I can get; always a little unnerving. Not to mention the results of the test!
Just because I feel like I have to do something to improve my chances of pregnancy, I have been reading books and magazines on the subject, as if it will help. I have noticed that my bladder needs to be emptied regularly or risk embarrassment! My breasts are growing and tender again and I have had the painful stretching sensations in my abdomen that seems to indicate that my uterus is growing. We are hopeful and praying for the babies to grow healthy and strong. Nothing to do now except wait.....
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Babies on Board!
Yesterday our appointment went well. We arrived at the clinic at 3:15. I had a few papers to sign and then we waited. When it was our turn to go in, Steve and I went through the door, down a long hallway to a treatment room at the end. There was a chair for Steve, a treatment bed and gown for me, an ultrasound machine and a tiny window to the lab where our embryos would be passed through.
The nurse gave us the aftercare instructions; basically to keep taking the hormone injections until the pregnancy test and then if it is positive, to keep taking them for a few months. I am also to be on bed rest for 2 days, no baths for a week, no sex until preg test and no pushing, pulling or heavy lifting. Dr. Kumar came by to meet us while we waited for the Embryologist.
Next, the Embryologist came in with pictures of the Embryos. They are 5 day Embryos (as opposed to 3 day; which are also commonly transferred) which means that they are more developed and have a higher rate of attachment to the uterine wall. She showed us in the photos how one of the Embryos was just exactly how they would like to see it. She described it as 100%. The other one she said was only 50% and explained how the cells were not responding as well. She suggested though the one didn't appear to be strong, we still had one Embryo that showed promise. I looked at Steve, then told the Embryologist that we would be transferring both Embryos to my womb, because they would both have every chance of life that we could give them. She changed the 1 to a 2 on our paperwork, and I signed it, initialling the spot that said there was a chance of twins!
Steve and I prayed for our Embryos again. We prayed that both Embryos would thrive, but that above all, God's will would be done. As I lay there waiting for the Doctor to come in for the transfer, I reflected back on the process that had gotten us to this point. I thought about the Legal Adoption papers that had gotten lost in the mail then found at the last minute. I remembered that my ultrasounds almost didn't take place and I had to travel so far to get them. I thought about my medication stuck at the border and how I was told that customs would not clear it for me and yet they did! I thought about my last week at home, trying desperately to track down my blood test results so we could go ahead with the transfer and how they were elusive even till 9:30 pm on Friday night before we were scheduled to fly! I considered all of these things and they greatly increased my faith for our second little Embryo that was showing weak signs of life. Maybe I needed all those trials along the way to remind me that my God is AWESOME and nothing is to big or to small for Him!
When Dr. Kumar came in for the transfer, he explained the steps of the procedure to us. The nurse used the abdominal ultrasound so we could all see when was happening. The Dr. rinsed the cervix and cleared away the mucous plug to access the uterus. Then when he was ready, he had the Embryologist pass the Embryos in though the little window from the lab. The Embryos were in a long syringe which he passed up into my uterus. When he had it in the top portion of my uterus, he placed the Embryos in my womb. The syringe was passed back to the lab to be sure that neither of the embryos were retained and when the Embryologist said "clear" the transfer was complete!
Dr. Kumar gave Steve an ultrasound picture of the Embryos in my womb, though you can only see the carrier fluid that they are in. I was instructed to remain completely relaxed, which wasn't a problem because they had given me Valium earlier. They tucked me in with a nice warm blanket and we waited there for 20 minutes. Then the nurse cam back to take me to the bathroom, which was a relief because my bladder was incredibly full! Dr. Kumar came and told us that he was extremely happy with the way everything had gone. He said that the rules for my next few weeks are; No mental or emotional stress, no physical stress, no decreases in caloric intake/no dieting. I got wheelchair treatment all the way out and Steve bought the car around to the front door. I slept all the way back to Altadena. We stopped at The Cheesecake Factory and bought a white chocolate raspberry cheesecake to make sure that I had enough calories for the day!
The nurse gave us the aftercare instructions; basically to keep taking the hormone injections until the pregnancy test and then if it is positive, to keep taking them for a few months. I am also to be on bed rest for 2 days, no baths for a week, no sex until preg test and no pushing, pulling or heavy lifting. Dr. Kumar came by to meet us while we waited for the Embryologist.
Next, the Embryologist came in with pictures of the Embryos. They are 5 day Embryos (as opposed to 3 day; which are also commonly transferred) which means that they are more developed and have a higher rate of attachment to the uterine wall. She showed us in the photos how one of the Embryos was just exactly how they would like to see it. She described it as 100%. The other one she said was only 50% and explained how the cells were not responding as well. She suggested though the one didn't appear to be strong, we still had one Embryo that showed promise. I looked at Steve, then told the Embryologist that we would be transferring both Embryos to my womb, because they would both have every chance of life that we could give them. She changed the 1 to a 2 on our paperwork, and I signed it, initialling the spot that said there was a chance of twins!
Steve and I prayed for our Embryos again. We prayed that both Embryos would thrive, but that above all, God's will would be done. As I lay there waiting for the Doctor to come in for the transfer, I reflected back on the process that had gotten us to this point. I thought about the Legal Adoption papers that had gotten lost in the mail then found at the last minute. I remembered that my ultrasounds almost didn't take place and I had to travel so far to get them. I thought about my medication stuck at the border and how I was told that customs would not clear it for me and yet they did! I thought about my last week at home, trying desperately to track down my blood test results so we could go ahead with the transfer and how they were elusive even till 9:30 pm on Friday night before we were scheduled to fly! I considered all of these things and they greatly increased my faith for our second little Embryo that was showing weak signs of life. Maybe I needed all those trials along the way to remind me that my God is AWESOME and nothing is to big or to small for Him!
When Dr. Kumar came in for the transfer, he explained the steps of the procedure to us. The nurse used the abdominal ultrasound so we could all see when was happening. The Dr. rinsed the cervix and cleared away the mucous plug to access the uterus. Then when he was ready, he had the Embryologist pass the Embryos in though the little window from the lab. The Embryos were in a long syringe which he passed up into my uterus. When he had it in the top portion of my uterus, he placed the Embryos in my womb. The syringe was passed back to the lab to be sure that neither of the embryos were retained and when the Embryologist said "clear" the transfer was complete!
Dr. Kumar gave Steve an ultrasound picture of the Embryos in my womb, though you can only see the carrier fluid that they are in. I was instructed to remain completely relaxed, which wasn't a problem because they had given me Valium earlier. They tucked me in with a nice warm blanket and we waited there for 20 minutes. Then the nurse cam back to take me to the bathroom, which was a relief because my bladder was incredibly full! Dr. Kumar came and told us that he was extremely happy with the way everything had gone. He said that the rules for my next few weeks are; No mental or emotional stress, no physical stress, no decreases in caloric intake/no dieting. I got wheelchair treatment all the way out and Steve bought the car around to the front door. I slept all the way back to Altadena. We stopped at The Cheesecake Factory and bought a white chocolate raspberry cheesecake to make sure that I had enough calories for the day!
Monday, October 17, 2011
Sunny California
I wake up this morning and my first thought is, "I'm getting pregnant today!" Then I think, "Oh, yeah, Steve has to give me a needle first."
We are staying in Altadena, about an hour from our clinic. The nurse called me yesterday to give me instructions prior to our appointment at 4:00pm today. We are to arrive at 3:15 so I can take a Valium and they can give us an orientation on the procedure. I am told that the Valium is to make sure that I am completely relaxed for the transfer. I am supposed to wear comfortable clothes and have my bladder comfortably full. When everything is ready, the embryos will be thawed just prior to the transfer.
I will be pregnant when I leave the clinic! I am to be on bed rest for the next two days, so that should be interesting. I feel more anxious about laying around than for the transfer itself! I guess I need to learn to relax; Usually there is always something that I need to get done!
This morning we are going to relax and see the area. It is supposed to be 85 degrees today; I can live with that! It is beautiful here. Palm trees line some of the streets. It feels like another world. I'd like to spend some time sitting in front of a cafe watching people walk by. I don't know if that qualifies as an activity that I can do on bed rest; I'll have to find out what the rules are.
Next time I blog I'll be pregnant!
We are staying in Altadena, about an hour from our clinic. The nurse called me yesterday to give me instructions prior to our appointment at 4:00pm today. We are to arrive at 3:15 so I can take a Valium and they can give us an orientation on the procedure. I am told that the Valium is to make sure that I am completely relaxed for the transfer. I am supposed to wear comfortable clothes and have my bladder comfortably full. When everything is ready, the embryos will be thawed just prior to the transfer.
I will be pregnant when I leave the clinic! I am to be on bed rest for the next two days, so that should be interesting. I feel more anxious about laying around than for the transfer itself! I guess I need to learn to relax; Usually there is always something that I need to get done!
This morning we are going to relax and see the area. It is supposed to be 85 degrees today; I can live with that! It is beautiful here. Palm trees line some of the streets. It feels like another world. I'd like to spend some time sitting in front of a cafe watching people walk by. I don't know if that qualifies as an activity that I can do on bed rest; I'll have to find out what the rules are.
Next time I blog I'll be pregnant!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Packing our bags!
Just wrapping up all the last minute things on my to-do list before going to bed. Tomorrow we head for California and on Monday at 4:00 p.m., the long awaited, greatly anticipated Embryo transfer!
My Doc phoned at 9:30 p.m. last night to say that the lab had my results and had faxed them on to the clinic in California. He was also going to fax them to be sure that they received them! Nothing like waiting till the last minute!
My children are looking forward to a week with Dad/Uncle Kevin while we are away. We spent the past week making the house tidy and baking bread and cookies for lunches so they would be ready for school on time.
I am looking forward to some time alone with my husband, even if I will be on bed rest for half the time! Hopefully he is up to babysitting me!
I have not enjoyed my daily needles much; it puts a damper on waking up in the morning when I realize that I need to have Steve give me a shot before work! The Progesterone makes me thirsty, tired, nauseous and ready to cry at any given moment. Steve's feels more sorry for himself that he has to give me a needle than he feels for me to have to receive it! I think he's a little confused.
I was concerned about loosing my baggage on one of our flights and being without my hormones so I looked into Airline policies and found out that I should carry it on. Seems kinda fishy that I can walk onto a plane with needles, syringes and injectable meds, but as long as I carry the prescription with me, I am fine. I also learned that each passenger is entitled to one book of matches, though I won't be bringing any.
Praying for our babies to both thaw safely and thrive in my womb!
My Doc phoned at 9:30 p.m. last night to say that the lab had my results and had faxed them on to the clinic in California. He was also going to fax them to be sure that they received them! Nothing like waiting till the last minute!
My children are looking forward to a week with Dad/Uncle Kevin while we are away. We spent the past week making the house tidy and baking bread and cookies for lunches so they would be ready for school on time.
I am looking forward to some time alone with my husband, even if I will be on bed rest for half the time! Hopefully he is up to babysitting me!
I have not enjoyed my daily needles much; it puts a damper on waking up in the morning when I realize that I need to have Steve give me a shot before work! The Progesterone makes me thirsty, tired, nauseous and ready to cry at any given moment. Steve's feels more sorry for himself that he has to give me a needle than he feels for me to have to receive it! I think he's a little confused.
I was concerned about loosing my baggage on one of our flights and being without my hormones so I looked into Airline policies and found out that I should carry it on. Seems kinda fishy that I can walk onto a plane with needles, syringes and injectable meds, but as long as I carry the prescription with me, I am fine. I also learned that each passenger is entitled to one book of matches, though I won't be bringing any.
Praying for our babies to both thaw safely and thrive in my womb!
Monday, October 10, 2011
Trouble with blood tests
Any couple receiving donated Embryos for transfer must have blood tests to screen for any disease that can be transmitted inutero. I, of course, have had these blood tests. The problem is, only half of the results have made it to our clinic! The FDA requires the clinic to have these results before they can legally do the Embryo transfer. Needless to say, I will be on the phone to our Doctors office at 8 a.m. tomorrow morning to inquire after the whereabouts of these results! Praying that they have them and it is only a matter of forwarding the information to California.
Speaking of blood tests, I received an email from our clinic in California informing me that the couple donating the embryos were in this morning having blood tests that are required for them to donate their Embryos! Apparently, these tests were never done when they did invitro because they did not intend to donate the remaining embryos at that time. I fact, as the adoptive parents of these embryos, we are responsible for all costs incurred from here on in and so there is a bill of $500 for the genetic parents' blood tests this morning.
I guess I just need to smile since this is what is is like to be a parent. Aw, my Embryos are having unexpected expenses already! Just like the rest of my kids, and they will be costing me money for the rest of their lives! Lol, like all the other hitches, I'm sure God can work these things out.
I am happy to report that my acne is clearing up. Tonight I have an estrogen shot and tomorrow morning I have my first daily progesterone shot; daily needles for the next couple months!
So, if you want to join me in praying this week, I am praying for test results to appear, finances to work out and for all the travel preparations.
Speaking of blood tests, I received an email from our clinic in California informing me that the couple donating the embryos were in this morning having blood tests that are required for them to donate their Embryos! Apparently, these tests were never done when they did invitro because they did not intend to donate the remaining embryos at that time. I fact, as the adoptive parents of these embryos, we are responsible for all costs incurred from here on in and so there is a bill of $500 for the genetic parents' blood tests this morning.
I guess I just need to smile since this is what is is like to be a parent. Aw, my Embryos are having unexpected expenses already! Just like the rest of my kids, and they will be costing me money for the rest of their lives! Lol, like all the other hitches, I'm sure God can work these things out.
I am happy to report that my acne is clearing up. Tonight I have an estrogen shot and tomorrow morning I have my first daily progesterone shot; daily needles for the next couple months!
So, if you want to join me in praying this week, I am praying for test results to appear, finances to work out and for all the travel preparations.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
tears at the ready
Back home again after 5 days in Kamloops! I had Ultrasound and hormone measuring blood test appointments in Kelowna on Monday and Friday; they both went well. My Endometrium is developing very well and we are on track for the Embryo transfer on the 17th.
On Thursday I had the experience of giving myself an injection. I choose to do it in the thigh so I could see what I was doing. I had two spectators (sister-in-laws) who were as nervous I as was! It helped that they were watching because I had to be extra brave and just get it done! I was shaking like a leaf, but I managed and it was a success. It was actually one of the less painful ones so far. My next injection is Monday and I sart daily progesterone injections the next day, so I'm going to have to get used to those needles! Have I mentioned that they are 1.5" long and I have to put them all the way in?!
Steve had said that I could buy a nice pair of boots to help me be brave for the injections. When I was in Kamloops I went on several boot shopping excursions. If you knew how strongly my decision was based in my emotions, you could probably have a good laugh at my expense! At one point of the boot journey, I returned to Winners in Kelowna to purchase a great pair I had found there earlier. They were gone and I had a good cry in the truck on my way back to Kamloops! Haha! I ended up with a great pair from Aldo in the mall in Kamloops; you can check them out next time you see me. I assure you, they will deffinitly help me to be brave for the weeks of daily needles that I have ahead of me!
Tuesday afternoon I booked our flights for the trip. We fly out of Prince George at 11:30 a.m. on the 16th and return at 9:56 a.m. on the 21st. We will be staying with good friends of good friends while we are there; a blessing to be sure! We got a great deal on a rental car through our airline so we will have convenient transportation while in California. Kevin is comming here to stay with the kids and I am busily trying to have bread and cookies in the freezer to prepare for that week.
As always, I have great need of prayer; this time for blood test results that never made it to our clinic. It is a legal requirement of the FDA that any woman having an embryo transfer (even when it is their own embryo created through in vitro) must have blood tests to screen for STDs since they can be transmitted inutero. I had these blood tests done over a month ago. the problem is, only half of the results made it to the clinic. Tuesday morning I will be contacting the clinic to inquire about the whereabouts of the rest of the results. The tranfer will not happen without the results. I am trusting God for a timely solution!
I am getting very excited about the upcomming adventure! With an abundance of hormones, tears are always at the ready! If you see me crying, just pretend that its normal!
On Thursday I had the experience of giving myself an injection. I choose to do it in the thigh so I could see what I was doing. I had two spectators (sister-in-laws) who were as nervous I as was! It helped that they were watching because I had to be extra brave and just get it done! I was shaking like a leaf, but I managed and it was a success. It was actually one of the less painful ones so far. My next injection is Monday and I sart daily progesterone injections the next day, so I'm going to have to get used to those needles! Have I mentioned that they are 1.5" long and I have to put them all the way in?!
Steve had said that I could buy a nice pair of boots to help me be brave for the injections. When I was in Kamloops I went on several boot shopping excursions. If you knew how strongly my decision was based in my emotions, you could probably have a good laugh at my expense! At one point of the boot journey, I returned to Winners in Kelowna to purchase a great pair I had found there earlier. They were gone and I had a good cry in the truck on my way back to Kamloops! Haha! I ended up with a great pair from Aldo in the mall in Kamloops; you can check them out next time you see me. I assure you, they will deffinitly help me to be brave for the weeks of daily needles that I have ahead of me!
Tuesday afternoon I booked our flights for the trip. We fly out of Prince George at 11:30 a.m. on the 16th and return at 9:56 a.m. on the 21st. We will be staying with good friends of good friends while we are there; a blessing to be sure! We got a great deal on a rental car through our airline so we will have convenient transportation while in California. Kevin is comming here to stay with the kids and I am busily trying to have bread and cookies in the freezer to prepare for that week.
As always, I have great need of prayer; this time for blood test results that never made it to our clinic. It is a legal requirement of the FDA that any woman having an embryo transfer (even when it is their own embryo created through in vitro) must have blood tests to screen for STDs since they can be transmitted inutero. I had these blood tests done over a month ago. the problem is, only half of the results made it to the clinic. Tuesday morning I will be contacting the clinic to inquire about the whereabouts of the rest of the results. The tranfer will not happen without the results. I am trusting God for a timely solution!
I am getting very excited about the upcomming adventure! With an abundance of hormones, tears are always at the ready! If you see me crying, just pretend that its normal!
Monday, October 3, 2011
2nd Ultrasound
I woke up this morning and discovered, to my great dismay, that my chest and back are covered in tiny whiteheads! Never in all my life have I had zits like this! The nurse at the Fertility clinic in Kelowna assured me that it was from the Estrogen and would improve once I start taking Progesterone on the 12th. The puking, she said, was from the estrogen as well.
My appointment went well! My endometrium is developing nicely and we are on track for the transfer on the 17th! Yay! Deep down I was nervous that my endometrium wasn't going to be doing what it was supposed to. I had the same kind of butterflies that you get at a job interview! As if i wasn't good enough for the job or something! Ha!
The Nurse from California touched base this afternoon to confirm that it all looked good. Tonight I am supposed to increase my estrogen shot from .2 ml to .3 ml; hope this doesn't increase the acne! so far my face looks ok, I might start wearing a scarf to hide my neck!
Another thing I have noticed is that random strangers annoy me. I overheard a lady fighting with her teenage son and I wanted to tell her to grow up! I did not. The guy at the sushi place was insanely slow and I felt like having a temper tantrum! I did not. These are just a few examples of noticing that I am annoyed at silly little things that normally don't phase me. So far, I have had the presence of mind to attribute my annoyance to hormones and not act on them! Grace, Lord! Please!
My appointment went well! My endometrium is developing nicely and we are on track for the transfer on the 17th! Yay! Deep down I was nervous that my endometrium wasn't going to be doing what it was supposed to. I had the same kind of butterflies that you get at a job interview! As if i wasn't good enough for the job or something! Ha!
The Nurse from California touched base this afternoon to confirm that it all looked good. Tonight I am supposed to increase my estrogen shot from .2 ml to .3 ml; hope this doesn't increase the acne! so far my face looks ok, I might start wearing a scarf to hide my neck!
Another thing I have noticed is that random strangers annoy me. I overheard a lady fighting with her teenage son and I wanted to tell her to grow up! I did not. The guy at the sushi place was insanely slow and I felt like having a temper tantrum! I did not. These are just a few examples of noticing that I am annoyed at silly little things that normally don't phase me. So far, I have had the presence of mind to attribute my annoyance to hormones and not act on them! Grace, Lord! Please!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
A new experience
Hormones are a mighty thing! I have noticed that they are affecting my appetite; I don't always feel hungry when I should and sometimes I'm ravenous not long after I have eaten. My dreams seem to be much more vivid too. Everyone knows that hormones can make a person really emotional, weepy or angry, but lately I have noticed that several situations that normally would have stressed me out have actually not bothered me at all; I feel unusually calm.
Morning sickness is a well known symptom of pregnancy that is related to hormone changes. With my other pregnancies, I often experienced morning sickness strictly as nausea, but never actually threw up. There was one time while I was pregnant with Eden that I kinda forced a puke, but it didn't help so I always avoided it after that.
This morning I was driving to Prince George for an appointment with the kids. As soon as I got into the vehicle, I became nauseated. It soon was obvious that I was going to be sick! I pulled over beside the road and chucked my breakfast into the ditch! It was rather embarrassing that cars slowed down as they drove by!
Hopefully this is an isolated experience that doesn't become a fad in the upcoming months as I find vomiting to be repulsive and actually think it quite sinful! Just kidding about the sinful part, but I do not appreciate surrendering my food to the ditch!
Morning sickness is a well known symptom of pregnancy that is related to hormone changes. With my other pregnancies, I often experienced morning sickness strictly as nausea, but never actually threw up. There was one time while I was pregnant with Eden that I kinda forced a puke, but it didn't help so I always avoided it after that.
This morning I was driving to Prince George for an appointment with the kids. As soon as I got into the vehicle, I became nauseated. It soon was obvious that I was going to be sick! I pulled over beside the road and chucked my breakfast into the ditch! It was rather embarrassing that cars slowed down as they drove by!
Hopefully this is an isolated experience that doesn't become a fad in the upcoming months as I find vomiting to be repulsive and actually think it quite sinful! Just kidding about the sinful part, but I do not appreciate surrendering my food to the ditch!
Big needles!
Did I mention that I have to take needles?! When I successfully retrieved my parcel from DHL, I opened the box to see the expensive medication that I had nearly lost in customs. I was a little chagrined to find 60x1.5" needles!
My first round of hormones is Delestrogen, administered as an intramuscular shot twice a week. In a week I add progesterone, also an intramuscular shot, daily for 10 weeks.
I can't say that I am entirely brave about the situation. I was feeling very nervous about the shots. I can't really give them to myself, as they need to go into my largest muscle, which you may know is my backside! Steve is very courageous and has agreed to give me the shots. My mommy was here on Monday, so she gave me the first one. Trained as a psychiatric nurse, it has been many years since she has given anyone a needle. She definitely has a soft touch and I didn't feel it much. Thursday I will find out if Steve is as talented!
My next two Ultrasounds are in Kelowna on the 3rd and 10th of October, so I have a bit more travelling to do. Thanking God for working everything out so far. Praying for more safe travels!
My first round of hormones is Delestrogen, administered as an intramuscular shot twice a week. In a week I add progesterone, also an intramuscular shot, daily for 10 weeks.
I can't say that I am entirely brave about the situation. I was feeling very nervous about the shots. I can't really give them to myself, as they need to go into my largest muscle, which you may know is my backside! Steve is very courageous and has agreed to give me the shots. My mommy was here on Monday, so she gave me the first one. Trained as a psychiatric nurse, it has been many years since she has given anyone a needle. She definitely has a soft touch and I didn't feel it much. Thursday I will find out if Steve is as talented!
My next two Ultrasounds are in Kelowna on the 3rd and 10th of October, so I have a bit more travelling to do. Thanking God for working everything out so far. Praying for more safe travels!
The many Adventures of Whinnie the Pooh
Hormone treatment is part of the preparations for an Embryo transfer. This treatment needs to be monitored by ultrasound and blood tests. When I saw my family Dr. several weeks ago, he said that this wouldn't be a problem and to let him know when the time came so he could make the arrangements. I tried to rebook with him right away, but he was booked until way past my cycle dates at the end of the month. I had to see another Dr. to book an ultrasound to get my baseline measurements of my endometrium. Unfortunately, the only Dr. I could get in to see was Dr. No; and there was no way he was going to even try to get me that ultrasound. His nurse of impossible solutions explained that protocol and wait lists wouldn't permit me to have an ultrasound for 3 weeks! Since in her narrow opinion, this was not an emergency, I would have to change my plans; as if in the future things would be any different!
I was not the least bit deterred! I told the nurse to stop telling me that I would have to change my plans because I would be having an ultrasound the next day regardless of her inability to help me! I made plans to leave right away and called the closest fertility clinic in Kelowna and booked a scan for 9 a.m. the next day! The kids and I travelled to Kamloops where they spent time with family while I went to Kelowna for a rather expensive appointment that took about 15 minutes!
Meanwhile, I had received a notice from DHL that my package containing my hormone medication was detained at customs in Richmond. I had filled out paperwork to have a Broker clear it for me and after several hours on the phone, i received an email from the Broker saying that the only way to clear my parcel was to come to Richmond and go through customs my self. They advised me that they were open till 6pm, so I left Kamloops right away. Upon my arrival, I was informed that the DHL customs staff had gone home and the Canadian customs office was also closed for the day. Not only that, but medication had not been allowed into Canada for 6 weeks due to stricter policies. I was told that I could stay if I wanted and try in the morning, but customs would most certainly deny my parcel and destroy the package. It was raining outside and I cried.
I didn't have enough time to get a Canadian prescription in time to start the medication on Monday. I had already paid for the medication, for shipping and to drive there to get it; re-purchasing the medication would have been a financial strain. This whole ordeal could set us back a month!
Steve was so supportive on the phone. He reassured me that staying the night and taking my chances with customs was what I really wanted to do. I phoned Rebekah Fulson and stayed the night at their place. I was so blessed to have a welcoming home with good friends, good food, a shower and she even gave me clean clothes to wear! I felt like the man on the road to Jericho. What a blessing!
All night I prayed for my medication to be released by customs in the morning. Many of my good friends also prayed for a miracle! By morning I had thought of every possible thing I could say; I knew that it wasn't something I could talk my way through. I prayed that God would speak on my behalf and that I wouldn't even have to convince anyone. I picked up my paperwork from DHL and headed over to customs. There was a lady at the counter who asked me a few questions. I hardly said anything at all. She told me that technically she is supposed to deny me access to my package, but under the circumstances, she was going to give me my medication! Yay! Thank you God! The DHL staff were quite shocked that I returned with a customs stamp to pick up my package!
New prayer requests are: mail doesn't seem to be working for me very well because the leagal paperwork that I sent to the clinic hasn't arrived yet. It is important that it gets there! Also, still waiting on Steve's last big Landscaping job to pay so I can book airplane tickets and pay the balance to the clinic for the procedure! After the miracles I've just shared, I shouldn't be worried at all! God can be trusted and I know that He will see this through!
I was not the least bit deterred! I told the nurse to stop telling me that I would have to change my plans because I would be having an ultrasound the next day regardless of her inability to help me! I made plans to leave right away and called the closest fertility clinic in Kelowna and booked a scan for 9 a.m. the next day! The kids and I travelled to Kamloops where they spent time with family while I went to Kelowna for a rather expensive appointment that took about 15 minutes!
Meanwhile, I had received a notice from DHL that my package containing my hormone medication was detained at customs in Richmond. I had filled out paperwork to have a Broker clear it for me and after several hours on the phone, i received an email from the Broker saying that the only way to clear my parcel was to come to Richmond and go through customs my self. They advised me that they were open till 6pm, so I left Kamloops right away. Upon my arrival, I was informed that the DHL customs staff had gone home and the Canadian customs office was also closed for the day. Not only that, but medication had not been allowed into Canada for 6 weeks due to stricter policies. I was told that I could stay if I wanted and try in the morning, but customs would most certainly deny my parcel and destroy the package. It was raining outside and I cried.
I didn't have enough time to get a Canadian prescription in time to start the medication on Monday. I had already paid for the medication, for shipping and to drive there to get it; re-purchasing the medication would have been a financial strain. This whole ordeal could set us back a month!
Steve was so supportive on the phone. He reassured me that staying the night and taking my chances with customs was what I really wanted to do. I phoned Rebekah Fulson and stayed the night at their place. I was so blessed to have a welcoming home with good friends, good food, a shower and she even gave me clean clothes to wear! I felt like the man on the road to Jericho. What a blessing!
All night I prayed for my medication to be released by customs in the morning. Many of my good friends also prayed for a miracle! By morning I had thought of every possible thing I could say; I knew that it wasn't something I could talk my way through. I prayed that God would speak on my behalf and that I wouldn't even have to convince anyone. I picked up my paperwork from DHL and headed over to customs. There was a lady at the counter who asked me a few questions. I hardly said anything at all. She told me that technically she is supposed to deny me access to my package, but under the circumstances, she was going to give me my medication! Yay! Thank you God! The DHL staff were quite shocked that I returned with a customs stamp to pick up my package!
New prayer requests are: mail doesn't seem to be working for me very well because the leagal paperwork that I sent to the clinic hasn't arrived yet. It is important that it gets there! Also, still waiting on Steve's last big Landscaping job to pay so I can book airplane tickets and pay the balance to the clinic for the procedure! After the miracles I've just shared, I shouldn't be worried at all! God can be trusted and I know that He will see this through!
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Graduation!
I did it! I have completed all the many phases of Adoption paperwork!
When my sister was in the long phase of paperwork for their adoption, I observed that it was such a daunting task that I never thought I could take on. When the time came that we knew that God was calling us to adopt Embryos the North American way, I felt that He would give me the strength I needed. Sure enough, the paperwork nearly killed me! Relentless stages of paperwork came in waves! As usual, God was right and I was able to handle it. Now we are finished the paperwork and on to pills, needles, ultrasounds and blood tests!
We sent off the final paperwork to the Adoption agency and to the fertility clinic this week. As for mentioned, all there is left is hormone treatment to prepare for the Embryo transfer and preparing for the trip! The big event will happen on or around the 17th of October! This week will determine the final date (whatever day I get my period) and then I will book flights and book a rental car! We are staying with a good friend of a good friend; thank God for that! Not for sure yet, but it looks like Kevin will come stay with the kids while we are away. God works all things together for good for those that love Him! Hooray! All the pieces are fitting together!
When my sister was in the long phase of paperwork for their adoption, I observed that it was such a daunting task that I never thought I could take on. When the time came that we knew that God was calling us to adopt Embryos the North American way, I felt that He would give me the strength I needed. Sure enough, the paperwork nearly killed me! Relentless stages of paperwork came in waves! As usual, God was right and I was able to handle it. Now we are finished the paperwork and on to pills, needles, ultrasounds and blood tests!
We sent off the final paperwork to the Adoption agency and to the fertility clinic this week. As for mentioned, all there is left is hormone treatment to prepare for the Embryo transfer and preparing for the trip! The big event will happen on or around the 17th of October! This week will determine the final date (whatever day I get my period) and then I will book flights and book a rental car! We are staying with a good friend of a good friend; thank God for that! Not for sure yet, but it looks like Kevin will come stay with the kids while we are away. God works all things together for good for those that love Him! Hooray! All the pieces are fitting together!
Monday, September 12, 2011
Nesting
Nesting is the state of mind that a woman enters in the days or weeks before she gives birth to a new baby. It is our God given instinct to make a safe and happy environment in which we can nurture our growing baby. I don't know if it's instinct or just my awareness that I generally feel like a crippled old lady when I'm pregnant, due to sciatica, but I am experiencing pre-pregnancy nesting. I feel the urge to create a comfortable and relaxing environment in which I can nurture my children and my pregnant body while babies grow inside my belly. I have been engaging in deep cleansing exercises, reaching to the backs of closets and the depths of spare rooms! I have been regularly loading seldom used items into my vehicle to unload at the re-use shed and garbage dump! Ah, how satisfying to finally have organized space in my entrance and the blissful awareness of a dust-bunny-free bedroom.
In spite of all my efforts, I am very aware that it will be necessary for a renewed sense of nesting before I give birth. In the present, I will imagine that my hard work will last forever!
In spite of all my efforts, I am very aware that it will be necessary for a renewed sense of nesting before I give birth. In the present, I will imagine that my hard work will last forever!
Friday, September 9, 2011
Date
I have a lovely little bruise on my arm from the blood tests today. A reminder of all the not so fun medical stuff that will come with pregnancy. So far it was just routine tests; once I start taking estrogen I will have weekly ultrasounds and blood tests to monitor my estrogen levels.
This afternoon I realized that it has been 2 weeks since our legal Adoption papers were mailed to us and they haven't arrived yet. I checked the tracking number and it showed that the package exists but there is no further record of it's whereabouts. I started to have a little panic, then decided that it would be a waste of a perfectly good afternoon. I sent a few emails and decided to trust that God has it under control. A second prayer request that I have is that my estrogen meds will make it through customs in time for me to start them on the 23rd of this month.
So tentatively, depending on the timely development of my endrometrium (the lining of my uterus) the FET (Fetal Embryo Transfer) will be on October 17th! Ahhhhh! Mark it on your calendar and pray for our little Embryos to thaw safely and to attach to their temporary home!
This afternoon I realized that it has been 2 weeks since our legal Adoption papers were mailed to us and they haven't arrived yet. I checked the tracking number and it showed that the package exists but there is no further record of it's whereabouts. I started to have a little panic, then decided that it would be a waste of a perfectly good afternoon. I sent a few emails and decided to trust that God has it under control. A second prayer request that I have is that my estrogen meds will make it through customs in time for me to start them on the 23rd of this month.
So tentatively, depending on the timely development of my endrometrium (the lining of my uterus) the FET (Fetal Embryo Transfer) will be on October 17th! Ahhhhh! Mark it on your calendar and pray for our little Embryos to thaw safely and to attach to their temporary home!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Sigh
My heart sunk to my toes as my beloved motorcycle drove away down the driveway today. A sacrifice for clinic fees, the money went into our baby fund. We sold my bike for our asking price; a small miracle to remind me that God will provide. The reality is, I won't be riding for at least another year, so I don't need it anyways. I'm sure I'd love to look at it, a symbol of my youth and freedom, as I pat my growing belly. Reason won out and I parted with my iron steed...for now anyways.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Hijacked Hormones
The countdown has begun! October is just around the corner and it is time to prepare my body to accept the two precious Embryos that we have waited so long for. My heart has been "pregnant" for two years already! Now, as my hormones have been hijacked, my body is beginning to feel pregnant too!
The idea is to copy my natural hormone cycle with prescribed hormones to make my body feel pregnant so it embraces the Embryos when they are transferred to my womb mid October. I have started taking birth control which is a low dose estrogen, simulating pregnancy. Because my uterus isn't actually on board with this plan, in a couple weeks I will start taking supplemental estrogen in increasing amounts to stimulate the lining of my uterus to increase. Closer to the day of transfer, we will add progesterone to the mix and decrease estrogen. It's all hormones from now until next July!
It is rather surreal to be actually taking physical steps towards the finality of this family adventure! The legal papers have been notarized and are coming our way. Once we have them, we will forward them to the clinic and start setting appointment dates and planning flights!
Symptoms: So far, I am feeling the typical birth control symptoms; water retention, mid afternoon nausea and breast tenderness.
The idea is to copy my natural hormone cycle with prescribed hormones to make my body feel pregnant so it embraces the Embryos when they are transferred to my womb mid October. I have started taking birth control which is a low dose estrogen, simulating pregnancy. Because my uterus isn't actually on board with this plan, in a couple weeks I will start taking supplemental estrogen in increasing amounts to stimulate the lining of my uterus to increase. Closer to the day of transfer, we will add progesterone to the mix and decrease estrogen. It's all hormones from now until next July!
It is rather surreal to be actually taking physical steps towards the finality of this family adventure! The legal papers have been notarized and are coming our way. Once we have them, we will forward them to the clinic and start setting appointment dates and planning flights!
Symptoms: So far, I am feeling the typical birth control symptoms; water retention, mid afternoon nausea and breast tenderness.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Making Plans
As you may have guessed by the silence, it has been a busy summer for us. In anticipation of the expenses of travelling, fertility drugs and clinic costs, Steve has opted to work 2 jobs this summer; both his full time job with the Mobile Work Crew and Landscaping in the evenings and on most weekends.
Since my last post, I have been busily looking into our options for the FET (Fetal Embryo Transfer). The Embryos are at a clinic in Thousand Oaks, California, near L.A.. It is usually cheaper to go to the clinic where the Embryos were conceived, but the downside in this case was that we don't have any connections near there. We found a clinic in Roseville near Sacramento, California that seemed like a good option. We have friends near there who were willing to have us stay with them for several weeks while I was preparing physically for the FET and needing to be monitored at the clinic. As we began to prepare to have our Embryo records sent, it became obvious that the cost of this clinic was going to be much higher than we had first expected. As a final confirmation, the clinic was also requesting that the genetic parents must also provide new blood tests. This was an unnecessary complication since the original clinic already had all that information.
Last Tuesday, I received a phone call from Dr. Kumar, a fertility specialist from Fertility and Surgical Associates of California. To make a long story short, I had my initial phone consultation appointment the next morning and we will be going to Thousand Oaks for the FET around the third week of October! The good news is, I can have most of the lab and ultrasound monitoring done from home, so we only have to travel there for 5 or 6 days. (This wasn't an option with any of the other clinics that we talked to.) Everything is comming together, all of a sudden we are moving forward!
Steve and I have both been really praying about the timing of this trip and we both feel that God is with us. We have been working hard to be able to afford to travel and we are trusting that God will provide for any unforeseen expenses.
In the beginning of September I will start hormone treatment to prepare my body for the transfer. It is kinda hard to believe that we are at the final phases of waiting! Just over two months from now I will be taking a pregnancy test!
Since my last post, I have been busily looking into our options for the FET (Fetal Embryo Transfer). The Embryos are at a clinic in Thousand Oaks, California, near L.A.. It is usually cheaper to go to the clinic where the Embryos were conceived, but the downside in this case was that we don't have any connections near there. We found a clinic in Roseville near Sacramento, California that seemed like a good option. We have friends near there who were willing to have us stay with them for several weeks while I was preparing physically for the FET and needing to be monitored at the clinic. As we began to prepare to have our Embryo records sent, it became obvious that the cost of this clinic was going to be much higher than we had first expected. As a final confirmation, the clinic was also requesting that the genetic parents must also provide new blood tests. This was an unnecessary complication since the original clinic already had all that information.
Last Tuesday, I received a phone call from Dr. Kumar, a fertility specialist from Fertility and Surgical Associates of California. To make a long story short, I had my initial phone consultation appointment the next morning and we will be going to Thousand Oaks for the FET around the third week of October! The good news is, I can have most of the lab and ultrasound monitoring done from home, so we only have to travel there for 5 or 6 days. (This wasn't an option with any of the other clinics that we talked to.) Everything is comming together, all of a sudden we are moving forward!
Steve and I have both been really praying about the timing of this trip and we both feel that God is with us. We have been working hard to be able to afford to travel and we are trusting that God will provide for any unforeseen expenses.
In the beginning of September I will start hormone treatment to prepare my body for the transfer. It is kinda hard to believe that we are at the final phases of waiting! Just over two months from now I will be taking a pregnancy test!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
It's Official!
Today is June 25th, the day our Adoption is final! We are the proud partents of two precious Embryos! It is a big step, but not the end of our journey. All of our paperwork has been sent in with our final payment to the Adoption Agency, now we need to decide what clinic we will be going to.
Choosing a fertility clinic is a fairly big deal to us because that is where we will go to have the embryo transfer done; they are the people that will handle our embryos in the crucial moments when they are thawed and transferred to my womb. Many fertility clinics do not view embryos as having any moral value. It is important to Steve and I that we find a clinic that will uphold the preciousness of the lives of our embryos and honor our decisions regarding their viability.
The next step for us will be to select a clinic that we would like to work with and then send them our embryo records. They will review the records and then let us know if they will accept them or not. When we find the right clinic, we will determine what their costs are, how many visits are necessary and what our travel costs will be. Then we will estimate how long it will take us to get the money together and plan to travel when we are ready. I am really hoping that we can have the transfer done by Christmas!
Your prayers are appreciated!
Choosing a fertility clinic is a fairly big deal to us because that is where we will go to have the embryo transfer done; they are the people that will handle our embryos in the crucial moments when they are thawed and transferred to my womb. Many fertility clinics do not view embryos as having any moral value. It is important to Steve and I that we find a clinic that will uphold the preciousness of the lives of our embryos and honor our decisions regarding their viability.
The next step for us will be to select a clinic that we would like to work with and then send them our embryo records. They will review the records and then let us know if they will accept them or not. When we find the right clinic, we will determine what their costs are, how many visits are necessary and what our travel costs will be. Then we will estimate how long it will take us to get the money together and plan to travel when we are ready. I am really hoping that we can have the transfer done by Christmas!
Your prayers are appreciated!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
3-2-1-Adoption!
The highlight of my day today was spending 10 quiet minutes in my car waiting for someone. It was so nice to just sit there with nothing to do.....and then I got on the phone and started making appointments for the upcoming week! So much to do and so little time! The 25th of June is coming up quickly and I still need Life Insurance! Really, our Dossier for our adoption consists of so many pieces of paper to show that we are responsible adults that can care for a child; such as Life Insurance, Criminal Record Checks, health statements from our Doctor, Financial Statements and even our Drivers Abstracts. Normally I don't have a file containing all this information in one place, so I have to run around and get all the vital copies to send in so our adoption can go through on the 25th of June as planned.
So exciting to think that in a couple of weeks, we will be the proud parents of two precious Embryos!
So exciting to think that in a couple of weeks, we will be the proud parents of two precious Embryos!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Match Making
Suddenly thing are happening quickly and I am falling behind on updates! We have been looking at Embryo profiles this last month; information about the Donating family like physical description, personality and family dynamics. Also, what they are looking for in an adoptive family. We considered very carefully how many embryos we would like to adopt since we would be adopting all the remaining embryos of the profile we choose. We selected a few profiles that fitted that we felt might be a good match and requested more information. We received pictures of siblings and parents and even a letter from one family telling more about themselves. Steve and I both agreed that one family stood out as the one we felt that we should send our profile to; a family with 2 embryos.
We contacted the Adoption Agency and requested that our profile be sent. Our profile consists of a worksheet containing basic information about our family; race, religion, hobbies, physical description, education, income etc.. Our profile also included a personal letter, outlining who we are as a family and our vision to include new family members into our lives and a collage of family pictures including our home and pets.
It was exciting and to ask a family to consider allowing us to adopt their embryos! It was also very scary to ask strangers choose us, knowing full well that they might decline!
After what seemed like weeks, but was only a few days, we heard news. The family accepted our match proposal! We are all so very excited!! I was teary when I phoned Steve with the news! We are currently working on signing a Match Contract and finalizing Adoption papers! The expected completion date of the Adoption is June 25Th.
It has been a long time coming, but in the foreseeable future, we will be the proud parents of two precious Embryos!
I will write more about the next steps after that in a later blog, but just to give you an idea, we will have to do a lot of travelling to the US to approximately 3 clinic visits before we get to bring the babies home.
To be continued....
We contacted the Adoption Agency and requested that our profile be sent. Our profile consists of a worksheet containing basic information about our family; race, religion, hobbies, physical description, education, income etc.. Our profile also included a personal letter, outlining who we are as a family and our vision to include new family members into our lives and a collage of family pictures including our home and pets.
It was exciting and to ask a family to consider allowing us to adopt their embryos! It was also very scary to ask strangers choose us, knowing full well that they might decline!
After what seemed like weeks, but was only a few days, we heard news. The family accepted our match proposal! We are all so very excited!! I was teary when I phoned Steve with the news! We are currently working on signing a Match Contract and finalizing Adoption papers! The expected completion date of the Adoption is June 25Th.
It has been a long time coming, but in the foreseeable future, we will be the proud parents of two precious Embryos!
I will write more about the next steps after that in a later blog, but just to give you an idea, we will have to do a lot of travelling to the US to approximately 3 clinic visits before we get to bring the babies home.
To be continued....
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Adoption
I have been asked many times why we would choose to adopt embryos when there are so many living breathing children that need families. The short and easy answer to that question is that we are doing what God asked us to do.
There are foster children living in limbo. There are children in Canada and Internationally that are waiting for a family. There are waiting embryos, frozen in space and time. The Bible says that we are to "look after orphans...in their distress" James 1:27 and to "speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves" Proverbs 31:8. I can't tell you how many embryos we will adopt or wether or not we will ever adopt a child that has already been born. I believe God sees them all the same. We will continue to seek wisdom and direction for our family.
Am I saying that People should adopt embryos instead of children already born? No. Am I saying that people should ask God if they should provide a loving family to a child that needs a home? Yes! Am I suggesting that we should redefine what we consider a normal family to include God's mandate to the church to look after orphans? Absolutely! Am I saying that one form of adoption is better than the other? No! Don't get caught up in the petty stuff! Lives can be impacted! We are talking about the kingdom of heaven here!
There are foster children living in limbo. There are children in Canada and Internationally that are waiting for a family. There are waiting embryos, frozen in space and time. The Bible says that we are to "look after orphans...in their distress" James 1:27 and to "speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves" Proverbs 31:8. I can't tell you how many embryos we will adopt or wether or not we will ever adopt a child that has already been born. I believe God sees them all the same. We will continue to seek wisdom and direction for our family.
Am I saying that People should adopt embryos instead of children already born? No. Am I saying that people should ask God if they should provide a loving family to a child that needs a home? Yes! Am I suggesting that we should redefine what we consider a normal family to include God's mandate to the church to look after orphans? Absolutely! Am I saying that one form of adoption is better than the other? No! Don't get caught up in the petty stuff! Lives can be impacted! We are talking about the kingdom of heaven here!
Pictures
This week we moved into a new phase of our Adoption; we received pictures and letters from several embryo donor families. Steve and I both felt connected with the same family, so we will send out our profile as soon as we get our paperwork in. It seems very exciting, yet surreal. At the same time, we are nervous because our profile might not be accepted and that won't be easy! never the less, this is part of the process, so I must be brave!
I know that we have been praying from the beginning that God would bring the right child(ren) into our family. This is the faith factor that I must keep foremost in my mind and not get caught up in expectations; it might not be the first ones, or the second....Lord, give me peace...and patience.
I know that we have been praying from the beginning that God would bring the right child(ren) into our family. This is the faith factor that I must keep foremost in my mind and not get caught up in expectations; it might not be the first ones, or the second....Lord, give me peace...and patience.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Quick Update
I am hard at work getting our paperwork together to send off with our Application to Embryos Alive. I have most of the information together and we are working on getting our "Dear Genetic Parent" letters and family profile together to send out for matching with a donor family. The paperwork is the long and monotonous part of adoption; I am looking forward to prenatal vitamins and maternity clothes! I know this is a necessary step, so I will persevere! We need to get an updated family picture for our adoption file, so hopefully I will be really on the ball and send a copy to all of our family and friends! Cross your fingers! This morning I overheard Zeke and Autumn practicing their "baby songs" to sing to the new baby; so cute! I am glad that we are all looking forward to this together. We have decided to adopt through Embryos Alive in Ohio. We will get our application in to them and the matching process will start right away. We will choose available embryos that we are interested in and our profile will be sent for their family to review. If they choose our file, we will get contracts to sign. If the match is confirmed, we will have two weeks to get in the remaining paperwork for our dossier and any outstanding fees. Once all that is taken care of, the match will be confirmed and we will start the process with a fertility clinic for the transfer. This whole process can take many months....or it could go fairly quickly depending on the match and our financial abilities. I am, of course, optimistic as usual. Maybe we'll have special news by Christmas! (I hoope maybe even sooner...)
Friday, March 4, 2011
Family dynamics
It is obvious that when we have more children through embryo adoption, our family will grow. Our already large family of 7 will increase to 8-9 or maybe even larger as time goes on. Crazy? You might wonder. I guess that depends on your definition of crazy. I have always envisioned a large family as being warm, loving and safe. Already having 5 children, we are not a small family by any definition. To some this may be an unimaginable lifestyle. It takes a great deal of planning and packing in order to take a weekend trip and many holiday plans just aren't practical with a large family. We may be an intimidating crew to have over for dinner; only the brave may venture. One may wonder how it is possible to meet the needs of so many children; spiritual, emotional, developmental, financial, etc.. I've been asked if I think it is fair to my children to make them share me with so many siblings, how can I properly nurture each of them? The answer to all of this can be found in one word: Grace. Our priorities have changed over the years as our family has grown. Our first priority is God. It is important for us to raise our children with a knowledge of God and to model Christ-like behaviour and a devoted relationship with God. We always pray together as a family; not just at meal times and bed times, but in family devotions, at any point in the day when we have praise or concerns for ourselves and whenever the opportunity arises to participate in the lives of others by lifting them up in prayer before the throne of God for help, healing, blessing or any other reason. We ask God for direction as a family and we pray one on one with our children randomly throughout the day. We want to teach our children to love others and serve them whenever we get a chance. This means that we get out of our comfort zone and reach out into the lives of others. This can be awkward with a large family, but it is important and we have grown together as a family on many occasions. When anyone in the family is struggling in a relationship or for other reasons, we use these experiences to help us to learn about how God loves others and how we can grow in this area. Our second priority is our family, first our marriage and then our children. In our family, we all make sacrifices for each other. For example, our children sacrifice time with their parents so that we can spend some quality time together. The reward for them is that we have a strong and loving marriage which brings them security and a joyful family environment. As parents, we put our children's needs above our own and do our best to provide for their needs. With a large family we need to evaluate what real needs are. In this day and age there are so many extracurricular activities that youth and children can participate in like sports, music and other lessons, to name a few. We certainly cannot afford to have all of our children involved in everything. We simple pick the ones that are important and consider if reasonable sacrifices can be made to accommodate. Take hockey, for example; one son has shown interest in hockey, which is very expensive and requires a big time commitment as well. Unfortunately, this is not an option. Upon speaking to him about it, I discovered that he'd just as soon play basketball and be on the wrestling team and the cost of these activities is significantly less and the time commitment is smaller as well. Phew! We also challenge our kids about their commitment to these activities because if the family is going to make the financial sacrifice, they are aware that they must be willing to practice their piano to make the most of the opportunity. Our family isn't perfect. As parents, we make mistakes. We aren't always as consistent as we'd like to be. Our judgement isn't always the best and we still have a lot to learn. Our children aren't perfect either. They don't always get along or make the best choices. However, I prefer to identify our family by grace. We have good intentions and God is faithful to complete a good work in us, so we will work towards that end! Our family has a best friend policy; that means that siblings are best friends! All differences must be worked out so that relationships can grow. Tattle-telling is only allowed if someone is in danger. Communication is encouraged as an alternative to fighting. Negative words are illegal in our home. i.e. we never say bad boy/girl, dumb, hate or stupid. If someone says unkind words to another, they must then say 3 nice things to them. We share in work and in play. We foster respect for ourselves and others, meaning that each person is precious and we treat each other accordingly. Honesty is valued, taught and praised in our family and forgiveness is practiced daily. I cannot possibly sum up our family life in a single blog, but to say the least, we strive to be a family that honors God, provides a nurturing environment to grow up in and reflects God's love to the world. Though we have chosen a family dynamic that doesn't suit everyone, we wouldn't have it any other way!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Hope for adoption
Steve and I just spent 3 days in Abbotsford at Hope Adoption services completing the education requirement for our home study. We just attended the Parenting Plus seminar; talk about a deeply emotional and moving course! If I thought I knew a lot about adoption scenarios before last week, I learned SO much more! It was such a blessing to stretch my understanding of adoption and its effects on everyone involved; the adoptee, the birth family and the adoptive family. I can't wait to get my hands on some recommended books on adoption, there is so much more for me to learn!
I was humbled by the stories from birth mothers, as I have mostly overlooked their side of things. Their decision is often misunderstood, considered a weakness or lack of concern; that couldn't be further from the truth. At Hope Services, there is a tremendous amount of education and support invested in helping the birthmother make the best decision for her child. I was deeply moved by their commitment to supporting her through the process. From what I also learned about the perspective of an adoptee, understanding and supporting the birth mother is the first important step in ensuring that a child has the best start!
The bonding portion of the seminar was not new to me because it was taught so well when my sister and brother-in-law took the course over 5 years ago! I learned from their experiences that bonding and attachment are a huge part in the success of an adoption. I saw my sister affirming her love and showing herself trustworthy to their young, adopted daughter by constantly being present with her. They were the only ones to feed her, cuddle her and care for her for months on end until their daughter finally realized that they were true in their love. We take love for granted until we have experienced loss and then it is human nature to question everything.
It is tempting for me to assume that by adopting embryos, children at the earliest stage of life, that we won't ever have to consider bonding, birth parents, separation and loss or any of the other issues that surround adoption. That would be a mistake! Though we will have the honor of knowing this/these child(ren) from almost the beginning, their genetic make up will belong to someone else. They will have genetic parents and full siblings somewhere in the world and they will want to know where they came from. God give us grace to be the best adoptive parents that we can be and to be open and supportive, to give our children every chance to thrive!
I want to mention that God has been teaching me about identity, specifically my identity in Him. This is very relevant to adoption because if I don't understand my identity in Christ, I cannot be who He has called me to be. In the same way, any child who struggles with their identity, not knowing where they come from or how they came to be adopted, is at risk of having a serious identity crisis. Their life can be consumed by unanswered questions even if they are fully attached to their adoptive family. God created us with the need to know who we are and adoptees are no exception. I am so grateful to be learning about this now so that I can help all of my children become who God made them to be!
I still have so much to earn about the journey ahead! I am grateful that Hope includes this seminar in their home study program. It was such a valuable resource as adoptive parents and I fully recommend it to anyone considering adoption. It is so great to be a part of such a dynamic adoption community and have the mentorship from all of the staff at Hope.
Really, there is so much more to say; I haven't even scratched the surface of all the valuable things we just learned. However, I couldn't possibly include it all in a blog! If your interest has peaked, maybe you are considering adoption and should contact Hope Services for an adoption package! wink.
I was humbled by the stories from birth mothers, as I have mostly overlooked their side of things. Their decision is often misunderstood, considered a weakness or lack of concern; that couldn't be further from the truth. At Hope Services, there is a tremendous amount of education and support invested in helping the birthmother make the best decision for her child. I was deeply moved by their commitment to supporting her through the process. From what I also learned about the perspective of an adoptee, understanding and supporting the birth mother is the first important step in ensuring that a child has the best start!
The bonding portion of the seminar was not new to me because it was taught so well when my sister and brother-in-law took the course over 5 years ago! I learned from their experiences that bonding and attachment are a huge part in the success of an adoption. I saw my sister affirming her love and showing herself trustworthy to their young, adopted daughter by constantly being present with her. They were the only ones to feed her, cuddle her and care for her for months on end until their daughter finally realized that they were true in their love. We take love for granted until we have experienced loss and then it is human nature to question everything.
It is tempting for me to assume that by adopting embryos, children at the earliest stage of life, that we won't ever have to consider bonding, birth parents, separation and loss or any of the other issues that surround adoption. That would be a mistake! Though we will have the honor of knowing this/these child(ren) from almost the beginning, their genetic make up will belong to someone else. They will have genetic parents and full siblings somewhere in the world and they will want to know where they came from. God give us grace to be the best adoptive parents that we can be and to be open and supportive, to give our children every chance to thrive!
I want to mention that God has been teaching me about identity, specifically my identity in Him. This is very relevant to adoption because if I don't understand my identity in Christ, I cannot be who He has called me to be. In the same way, any child who struggles with their identity, not knowing where they come from or how they came to be adopted, is at risk of having a serious identity crisis. Their life can be consumed by unanswered questions even if they are fully attached to their adoptive family. God created us with the need to know who we are and adoptees are no exception. I am so grateful to be learning about this now so that I can help all of my children become who God made them to be!
I still have so much to earn about the journey ahead! I am grateful that Hope includes this seminar in their home study program. It was such a valuable resource as adoptive parents and I fully recommend it to anyone considering adoption. It is so great to be a part of such a dynamic adoption community and have the mentorship from all of the staff at Hope.
Really, there is so much more to say; I haven't even scratched the surface of all the valuable things we just learned. However, I couldn't possibly include it all in a blog! If your interest has peaked, maybe you are considering adoption and should contact Hope Services for an adoption package! wink.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
pep talk
Can't say that I'm almost caught up on my to-do list. I don't think I ever will be! I am of the persuasion that by the time I start to feel like I have things under control, I will simply acquire new ambitions to keep me on my toes! So.....when I think I might be taking on more than I can handle, I must simply stretch my abilities to accommodate! Ha! I can do all things through Him who gives me strength!
So that was just my own little pep talk.
We are getting ready to go to Abbotsford for our second and last education seminar for our home study. I won't pretend that it is effortless to make the arrangements necessary to take a trip like this. The kids will spend the time in Kamloops with family with the exception of Eden. She has a zone tournament for basketball and needs to have a sleepover with someone from her team Tuesday night. I ought to call a few of our city friends and find a spot to sleep while in Abbotsford. I will still need to find someone to stop by the house to check up on my farmy animals, though they will have adequate food and water for the duration. So glad my cow doesn't need to be milked yet! That would ad an unusual complication! Sigh.
Once we have finished this step, we can complete the rest of the home study from home, aside from a few trips to Prince George.
I think that I am a home body, for the most part. I could embrace a lifestyle of puttering around the yard/farm, playing with my children, cultivating our family, making cheese and cookies. At least that is, I like to stay home when we are not out chasing a family adventure or spending time with friends, or pursuing the kingdom of God in the ends of the earth! I guess that makes me a delinquent home body. I am one big contradiction, ha!
Never the less, I have peace. Life is not boring and I am blessed.
So that was just my own little pep talk.
We are getting ready to go to Abbotsford for our second and last education seminar for our home study. I won't pretend that it is effortless to make the arrangements necessary to take a trip like this. The kids will spend the time in Kamloops with family with the exception of Eden. She has a zone tournament for basketball and needs to have a sleepover with someone from her team Tuesday night. I ought to call a few of our city friends and find a spot to sleep while in Abbotsford. I will still need to find someone to stop by the house to check up on my farmy animals, though they will have adequate food and water for the duration. So glad my cow doesn't need to be milked yet! That would ad an unusual complication! Sigh.
Once we have finished this step, we can complete the rest of the home study from home, aside from a few trips to Prince George.
I think that I am a home body, for the most part. I could embrace a lifestyle of puttering around the yard/farm, playing with my children, cultivating our family, making cheese and cookies. At least that is, I like to stay home when we are not out chasing a family adventure or spending time with friends, or pursuing the kingdom of God in the ends of the earth! I guess that makes me a delinquent home body. I am one big contradiction, ha!
Never the less, I have peace. Life is not boring and I am blessed.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
In vitro?
What I can say today is that God is faithful to complete a good work in me! I am challenged every day with the question of God's will. Is it really God's will for us to adopt embryos? Is it just my will backed by determination and stubbornness? I know that sometimes the people close to us form an opinion on the answer. We obviously have a certain assurance, but sometimes I am discouraged by other peoples' opinions.
Having said that, I want to bring up an area that for some may also be a topic of opinion and judgement. In vitro means "in glass." It is the fertilization of an egg in a lab, the process of conception with the help of a specialist; performed in the event that conception cannot or has not taken place due to infertility. I have not experienced infertility in my lifetime and though I have recently read a lot about the physical and emotional causes and effects of infertility, I will never fully understand. For this reason, I do not feel qualified to have much of an opinion on the viability of choosing in vitro as an option to having a child. I do know that it is a big deal. I do know that if I were faced with infertility, I would be compelled to consider in vitro. I don't know what I would do, but I'd like to believe that I would make the right decision.
Let me talk about in vitro for a minute; and please, if you know someone considering it at this time, pray for them. Pray for wisdom, that God will help them to make the right choices along the way. Life begins at conception. Psalm 139:13-16. Every genetic detail is determined at conception. In the case of in vitro, conception takes place in a glass dish in the lab. At this time I do not advocate for or against in vitro, but let's be clear that we are talking about human beings at their unique moment of conception. When we think about families choosing in vitro, let's remember that they are facing infertility; Pray that they are strong enough to make the most ethical decisions possible.
My thoughts on in vitro are limited to my scope of understanding. I do know that God is love, that He created us in His image and that His grace is sufficient; sufficient for those facing infertility, for embryos conceived but not born, and for those of us who need to focus on God's love when we consider these situations.
For today, I have faith in God's workmanship. He is the potter and I am the clay. Today I may be a lump, but He is working on a masterpiece! May I also have eyes to see the masterpiece in you!
Having said that, I want to bring up an area that for some may also be a topic of opinion and judgement. In vitro means "in glass." It is the fertilization of an egg in a lab, the process of conception with the help of a specialist; performed in the event that conception cannot or has not taken place due to infertility. I have not experienced infertility in my lifetime and though I have recently read a lot about the physical and emotional causes and effects of infertility, I will never fully understand. For this reason, I do not feel qualified to have much of an opinion on the viability of choosing in vitro as an option to having a child. I do know that it is a big deal. I do know that if I were faced with infertility, I would be compelled to consider in vitro. I don't know what I would do, but I'd like to believe that I would make the right decision.
Let me talk about in vitro for a minute; and please, if you know someone considering it at this time, pray for them. Pray for wisdom, that God will help them to make the right choices along the way. Life begins at conception. Psalm 139:13-16. Every genetic detail is determined at conception. In the case of in vitro, conception takes place in a glass dish in the lab. At this time I do not advocate for or against in vitro, but let's be clear that we are talking about human beings at their unique moment of conception. When we think about families choosing in vitro, let's remember that they are facing infertility; Pray that they are strong enough to make the most ethical decisions possible.
My thoughts on in vitro are limited to my scope of understanding. I do know that God is love, that He created us in His image and that His grace is sufficient; sufficient for those facing infertility, for embryos conceived but not born, and for those of us who need to focus on God's love when we consider these situations.
For today, I have faith in God's workmanship. He is the potter and I am the clay. Today I may be a lump, but He is working on a masterpiece! May I also have eyes to see the masterpiece in you!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Just some thoughts
I am generally think of myself as a short term kinda person. I prefer projects that have quick results. I love the idea of quilting but I lack the dedication that it takes to complete the masterpiece. I prefer to start something that I can finish in one or two sittings before I loose interest or the inspiration fades to the point that it becomes a monotonous chore!
On the other hand, I have committed to a lifetime of marriage to my amazing husband and when I think about that time frame, I am happy and blessed to walk that out. I already have five great and quirky kids to whom I am fully committed to loving and nurturing as they grow into adults and beyond. I love developing relationships with people and growing into deeper and more meaningful friendships year after year.
Relationships take dedication and prayer. If I aproached adoption like a hobby, I would have given it up a long time ago! I know that God has planted this seed deep in our hearts because as we perservere, our committment to our future children is renewed as we move forward past each obstacle.
I remember when my sister, Rebekah, was adopting from Sierra Leone. The country wasn't even open to foreign adoption at the time but they moved forward in prayer. As they walked it out, God opened the door and they walked through it. She said to me that adopting was like an extremely long pregnancy. You have conceived a child in your heart, you fill out all the paperwork and do a homestudy in preparation and with expectation that you will hold that child in your arms. At the time I thought that I could never wait so long, but God is faithful to give us the strength we need to walk out what He asks of us.
So I will wait on the Lord and He will renew my strength.
On the other hand, I have committed to a lifetime of marriage to my amazing husband and when I think about that time frame, I am happy and blessed to walk that out. I already have five great and quirky kids to whom I am fully committed to loving and nurturing as they grow into adults and beyond. I love developing relationships with people and growing into deeper and more meaningful friendships year after year.
Relationships take dedication and prayer. If I aproached adoption like a hobby, I would have given it up a long time ago! I know that God has planted this seed deep in our hearts because as we perservere, our committment to our future children is renewed as we move forward past each obstacle.
I remember when my sister, Rebekah, was adopting from Sierra Leone. The country wasn't even open to foreign adoption at the time but they moved forward in prayer. As they walked it out, God opened the door and they walked through it. She said to me that adopting was like an extremely long pregnancy. You have conceived a child in your heart, you fill out all the paperwork and do a homestudy in preparation and with expectation that you will hold that child in your arms. At the time I thought that I could never wait so long, but God is faithful to give us the strength we need to walk out what He asks of us.
So I will wait on the Lord and He will renew my strength.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Paperwork!
So now it's time for the hardest part; miles and miles of paperwork!
Our trip to Hope Adoption Services in Abbotsford went well. We enjoyed meeting the staff, many of whom I have spoken to on the phone and communicated with via email for more than a year already. It was so nice to get to know them in person.
Everyone at Hope has a personal connection to the life changing experience of adopting. They are so real about the joys and challenges involved in the process. Steve and I both felt like we became part of an adoption family.
We were there for the Process Plus course, the first of two educational requirements for adoption. It was a one day course and it covered the 3 basic steps in adoption; the home study, the application to another country and the process of immigration to bring your child home. (For us, only the first step is relevant, then we will switch over to the embryo adoption agency and fertility clinic for the remaining process.) We also heard testimony and teaching about the grief and loss associated with adoption; sometimes for adoptive parents who are unable to have children and always for an adoptee who experiences some level of rejection, loss and questions about their identity. We were also given lots of articles on adoption related topics like grief and loss, appropriate adoption language and infertility. I will just say that my eyes have truly been open in areas that I did not expect.
We have couples in our lives who have been unable to conceive or unable to carry a baby to term; both in close relationships and those more distant. I have always felt that I am least able to relate or support them because I have always taken my own fertility for granted. I have been caught up in the dilemma of wondering what to say to people who have a personal struggle in the area of infertility. I have grieved for them in my own way, praying fervently and deeply on many occasions. It never occurred to me to learn about the things that they may be experiencing. I never thought that I could educate myself by reading other peoples stories, by learning about the emotional needs of a couple going through infertility. I only wish that I had done this sooner; though I will never fully understand, I have a new respect and deeper love. I would urge anyone who has friends or family experiencing infertility: read something, be committed to learning as much as you can, and never underestimate the significance that infertility may have in their daily lives! May this be a growing awareness in my life!
Now that we are home again, the mountain of paperwork looms above my head. I have many forms to fill out and checklists to monitor my progress. It is a blessing that the process is clearly laid out and can be completed one step at a time.
The next step for us is to attend the Parenting Plus course February 23-25. In the meantime, I am challenged personally to do everything as unto the Lord! Daily life has so many opportunities to grow as a wife and a mother. I must not get so caught up in adopting that I loose sight of the whole purpose and that is to serve God and my family from day to day.
If it is in your heart to adopt someday, start praying about it now! There are so many things to consider and God is faithful to work out the details!
Blessings!
Our trip to Hope Adoption Services in Abbotsford went well. We enjoyed meeting the staff, many of whom I have spoken to on the phone and communicated with via email for more than a year already. It was so nice to get to know them in person.
Everyone at Hope has a personal connection to the life changing experience of adopting. They are so real about the joys and challenges involved in the process. Steve and I both felt like we became part of an adoption family.
We were there for the Process Plus course, the first of two educational requirements for adoption. It was a one day course and it covered the 3 basic steps in adoption; the home study, the application to another country and the process of immigration to bring your child home. (For us, only the first step is relevant, then we will switch over to the embryo adoption agency and fertility clinic for the remaining process.) We also heard testimony and teaching about the grief and loss associated with adoption; sometimes for adoptive parents who are unable to have children and always for an adoptee who experiences some level of rejection, loss and questions about their identity. We were also given lots of articles on adoption related topics like grief and loss, appropriate adoption language and infertility. I will just say that my eyes have truly been open in areas that I did not expect.
We have couples in our lives who have been unable to conceive or unable to carry a baby to term; both in close relationships and those more distant. I have always felt that I am least able to relate or support them because I have always taken my own fertility for granted. I have been caught up in the dilemma of wondering what to say to people who have a personal struggle in the area of infertility. I have grieved for them in my own way, praying fervently and deeply on many occasions. It never occurred to me to learn about the things that they may be experiencing. I never thought that I could educate myself by reading other peoples stories, by learning about the emotional needs of a couple going through infertility. I only wish that I had done this sooner; though I will never fully understand, I have a new respect and deeper love. I would urge anyone who has friends or family experiencing infertility: read something, be committed to learning as much as you can, and never underestimate the significance that infertility may have in their daily lives! May this be a growing awareness in my life!
Now that we are home again, the mountain of paperwork looms above my head. I have many forms to fill out and checklists to monitor my progress. It is a blessing that the process is clearly laid out and can be completed one step at a time.
The next step for us is to attend the Parenting Plus course February 23-25. In the meantime, I am challenged personally to do everything as unto the Lord! Daily life has so many opportunities to grow as a wife and a mother. I must not get so caught up in adopting that I loose sight of the whole purpose and that is to serve God and my family from day to day.
If it is in your heart to adopt someday, start praying about it now! There are so many things to consider and God is faithful to work out the details!
Blessings!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Update
This last month has been a typical holiday season. Very busy and rich in family blessings! Though I haven't had anytime to record my thoughts, I have had many great conversations with friends and family. Thank you everyone for all of your support.
Tomorrow Steve and I are driving to Abbotsford to attend our first adoption course at Hope Addoption Services. We will have one more course to take and that will begin our homestudy. I am looking forward to setting things in motion! I am excited to meet the staff at Hope, I have spoken to many of them on the phone in the past year and it always nice to put a face with a name. Of course this is a very personal journey and it will be nice to get to know some new people along the way.
I am very excited to blog more in the next month! There are several topics stirring in my heart and I am looking forward to sharing!
For now I must go and prepare my family for the days ahead. Please pray for us as we travel.
Blessings.
Tomorrow Steve and I are driving to Abbotsford to attend our first adoption course at Hope Addoption Services. We will have one more course to take and that will begin our homestudy. I am looking forward to setting things in motion! I am excited to meet the staff at Hope, I have spoken to many of them on the phone in the past year and it always nice to put a face with a name. Of course this is a very personal journey and it will be nice to get to know some new people along the way.
I am very excited to blog more in the next month! There are several topics stirring in my heart and I am looking forward to sharing!
For now I must go and prepare my family for the days ahead. Please pray for us as we travel.
Blessings.
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